my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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