Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
