she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It's just like the Real World with babies
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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