I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
pray to the hookup gods
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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