There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm both gender and math confused
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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