i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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