I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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