Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
