There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
The ass gains better be worth it
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