I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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