im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
