UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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