Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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