OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
