maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
