highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
