I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize