You can't motorboat a personality
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I think your dad took our porno
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
