I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You are the jesus of drinking
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
