awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
They are going to name an STD after you.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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