so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
