I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
