just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
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