census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
no you cant smoke seaweed
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
