listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize