Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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