if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm always down for nudity.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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