i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
