dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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