I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
