the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize