its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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