So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
