Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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