I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
