how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
