I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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