Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Say something about gay babies.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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