Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
