OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
