I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Randomize
