you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
