so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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