his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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