Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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