matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
