I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
