we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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