her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
