Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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