eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Acid is not a monday night drug
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
