Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
