I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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