if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize