Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
