Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
