using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
