i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
