If i come over, it means nothing
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
