Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
