totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
