Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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