Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
