Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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