I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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