Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
