this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
